Monday, February 23, 2009

lots of thinking

after going through the ups and downs of a roller-coaster, it seems like i'm heading to the end of the roller-coaster ride...but i don't seem to be able to come to some sorts of conclusion about my future plans.

from all angles, i'm really gratelful for the opportunities given me in this tough market. the only lingering thought is probably the fact that i have made plans to travel, and it seems they may not materialize at the end. well, who says i have control over timing? maybe if i look back one day, i would completely understand why things happened the way they did. timing has never been in our control. god has never promised things would work out the way i want it to be, but rather he has the best plan for us. just need to trust in him. well, easier said than done.

at the same time, i'm having second thoughts about what i really want. this opportunity seems to be something i wanted, and yet when it's becoming within reach, i start to doubt myself. i have made lots of mistakes in the past, going into areas which i regret at the end...will this be another one of those situations? do i have any choice? or am i putting myself into a pigeon-hole that i feel i have no other choice? i'm grateful, yet i'm doubtful. what an irony!

have to do some thinking tonight...

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